How am I feeling about myself?

As you have read I have been feeling like the ugly duckling with the extra weight I have on.

Here's a picture Madi took the night my hubby took one and I posted it.  I wouldn't use this one but I will put it here now.

I knew it showed my fat arms really bad and felt my face looks fat here.  




***EDITED TO ADD***



Here is one of the pictures that SHOWS MY WEIGHT.
I was kneeled down so she could take the picture from above where I would look more slender.  But here's the real deal!
I would never have dreamed of posting it!
Even my hair looks like it's flying everywhere in this one!
But I want to be TOTALLY TRANSPARENT!
SO here it is:

Now you can see the fat even more than if I had been standing up.
However, the below is exactly how I'm feeling!
So be prepared that I will be just posting regular pictures of me now.... not just ones that I have worked on to make myself look thinner or to hide the way I look.  This is me.  It's reality.


However, God has been working on my heart and I have been encouraged by those who care about me.

I am truly beginning to see myself in a different way.

I wouldn't trade the inside of me to get a better outside of me.

My heart is a lot more beautiful than my looks--- but that's how it should be.  God sees the inside and I am daily feeding the inside with His word and focusing on the fact that as much as I love my children, He loves me even more.  (He loves them even more if you think of it because He loves in a bigger, deeper way than we even understand!)  His love isn't based on my ever-changing weight or my looks.  When I look deeper at the picture I can see more than skin deep.  I can see eyes that are bright and usually happy.  I can see arms that hold my children and show them love.  I see a smile that can make someone else smile back.  I see a mouth that can speak the word of God.  I see ears that can listen to a friend that needs me.  I am seeing things very differently.  My weight doesn't affect all of those things.  I think if my sisters weren't so darn skinny I wouldn't even notice the fat anymore.  (thanks sisters, ha ha!) 

I'm kidding about the sister part and I'm really beginning not to notice the fat part anymore.  My God thinks I am beautiful because He created me.  My husband thinks I am beautiful because I am his wife and he loves me much deeper than skin deep.  My children think I am beautiful because they love me and don't even notice weight.  So, I am beginning to love me and not notice the weight as much either.  I do still notice but each day it's getting better and I am focusing on what's more, what's deeper, what's more lovely than the size tag in my clothes!  Boy am I realizing how shallow I've been!

Thank you Tamara and Melissa for helping me to see these things so much more.  Thank you Renee for the scripture I hold onto about beauty!  May we ALL be BEAUTIFUL in the eyes of GOD!

Love,