How am I feeling about myself?

>> Friday, January 21, 2011

As you have read I have been feeling like the ugly duckling with the extra weight I have on.
Here's a picture Madi took the night my hubby took one and I posted it.  I wouldn't use this one but I will put it here now.

I knew it showed my fat arms really bad and felt my face looks fat here.  


Here is one of the pictures that SHOWS MY WEIGHT.
I was kneeled down so she could take the picture from above where I would look more slender.  But here's the real deal!
I would never have dreamed of posting it!
Even my hair looks like it's flying everywhere in this one!
SO here it is:

Now you can see the fat even more than if I had been standing up.
However, the below is exactly how I'm feeling!
So be prepared that I will be just posting regular pictures of me now.... not just ones that I have worked on to make myself look thinner or to hide the way I look.  This is me.  It's reality.

However, God has been working on my heart and I have been encouraged by those who care about me.
I am truly beginning to see myself in a different way.
I wouldn't trade the inside of me to get a better outside of me.
My heart is a lot more beautiful than my looks--- but that's how it should be.  God sees the inside and I am daily feeding the inside with His word and focusing on the fact that as much as I love my children, He loves me even more.  (He loves them even more if you think of it because He loves in a bigger, deeper way than we even understand!)  His love isn't based on my ever-changing weight or my looks.  When I look deeper at the picture I can see more than skin deep.  I can see eyes that are bright and usually happy.  I can see arms that hold my children and show them love.  I see a smile that can make someone else smile back.  I see a mouth that can speak the word of God.  I see ears that can listen to a friend that needs me.  I am seeing things very differently.  My weight doesn't affect all of those things.  I think if my sisters weren't so darn skinny I wouldn't even notice the fat anymore.  (thanks sisters, ha ha!) 
I'm kidding about the sister part and I'm really beginning not to notice the fat part anymore.  My God thinks I am beautiful because He created me.  My husband thinks I am beautiful because I am his wife and he loves me much deeper than skin deep.  My children think I am beautiful because they love me and don't even notice weight.  So, I am beginning to love me and not notice the weight as much either.  I do still notice but each day it's getting better and I am focusing on what's more, what's deeper, what's more lovely than the size tag in my clothes!  Boy am I realizing how shallow I've been!

Thank you Tamara and Melissa for helping me to see these things so much more.  Thank you Renee for the scripture I hold onto about beauty!  May we ALL be BEAUTIFUL in the eyes of GOD!


Karen January 21, 2011 at 9:57 AM  

Cassidy, you ARE beautiful...don't listen to the lies the enemy wants you to believe...
Hugs and blessings...

Mrs. Stam January 21, 2011 at 2:37 PM  

You are so beautiful, inside and out!

Anonymous January 21, 2011 at 7:21 PM  


It's so inspiring to see your growth in strength! Your transparency is surely an outer sign of the inner works of your heart.

I'm here for you! I'll have to try calling again. I missed chatting with you when I tried to reach you.

Anonymous January 22, 2011 at 10:50 PM  

i think you look beautiful!

Cassidy January 23, 2011 at 7:18 AM  

***HUGS*** to all.
Thank you Tami, but you are biased ;) lol
I am feeling so much better about myself.
God is working in me... and I'm so thankful for that. xoxoxo Cass

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